who is the lamb and who is the knife.

weird but not so wonderful

noises,
everywhere.

I can't sleep.
The wind outside is howling,
and the dishwasher is going.
crazy.
right.
above.
my.
bed.

t-shirt theif

I am I am.
I wear your t-shirts when you're not here.

Saturday Morning on Hampton street

Walking down Hampton street this morning made my senses come alive.
The moment I stepped outside and walked down the busy shopping strip I made a mental note of all the different smells I came upon...


Weird?


- the sea
- the smell of leather shoes from the shoe shop on the corner ( mmmmmmmm my favourite smell )
- fresh coffee
- toasted sandwiches and croissants
- bread form the bakery
- fresh flowers from the fruit and veg shop
- the slightly damp smell of rain
- salty wet dogs form the beach ( so tempted to pat everyones dogs! )
- the smell of meat from the butcher
- the smell of fresh seafood (YUM)

I could go on and on.

I like saturday mornings on Hampton street.

i'm done

fed up with it.
I want pretty, picture perfect features.
None of this...
"oh but its character" shit.
I want to feel and look pretty all of the time.
Rather than feeling like an ugly duckling.

I envy those with
cute button noses
and nice jawlines.


Today I don't want to be me :(
I guess today is just another one of "those days"

thankyou nan and pop.

Tonight Gabbi, Talia and I experienced the most wonderful experience!

We were just sitting around at home after we finished dinner when the internet disconnected...
This usually happens sometimes just because the modem has been running for a long time.
So Gabbi went into the study to fix it.

When she walked into the room the touch lamp was on.
Random,
As no-one has been in there for days.


I knew all at once that it was Nan and Pop saying hello... and a rush of adrenalin ran through me.
I was so excited! not the tiniest bit scared, because it just felt so nice and peaceful. The presence was definitely a friendly and calm presence and I had been waiting for something like this for a while now.

It was so great to finally hear from Nan and Pop, I miss them so much, and this experience was definitely very comforting.

We decided to bake muffins, and we talked about how pop loved to bake muffins when he had the time, ( in between his busy schedule of bowling, sailing, dancing, cards and every other social event!)
While we were waiting for the muffins to cook we sat and watched "Top Gear" one of the shows Pop and I loved to watch together... and all of a sudden the tv switched to a signal error screen, and we knew straight away that Nan and Pop were with us.


Its such a lovely thing to know they're watching down on us. I really do miss them with all my heart. And the best part is knowing we haven't really "lost" them at all. Because they're still here with us, watching and guiding us.

I feel really lucky :)
And a lot more at ease.

I've tried

making an effort.
I actually can't be fucked with "friendships" anymore.
SO THERE.

If you've got no time for me...
right back at you.
I've got no time for you.

when your "best-friends" aren't there for you when you need them most...
When the hell will they ever be there????

fresh starts.